53 Ways To Annoy Benson
by Styron Viking 4
Summary: "So, about that plan of yours?" Saw a couple of these on other community so I figured "why not'
1. Agreement

A/N: Wow, my first fanfiction! Yay! Okay, so I'll try my hardest to make this a good story. Reviews are welcome and you can submit your opinions. READ ON!

Mordecai and Rigby were sitting at their spot in the coffee shop after a long day of work ( actually only about 3 hours, and they were slacking off).

" Man, nothing beats drinking joe with my bro." Said the 23 year-old blue-jay named Mordecai with a relaxed look on his face.

"Yep." Replied the 23 year-old raccon named Rigby with that same look on his face.

To Mordecai and Rigby, there were few things that were better than this, getting away from it all, away from their boss, a living gumball machine, Benson, who has a very short temper and a tendency to yell at them while they try to work at the Park. Lucky for them, they had this nice coffee shop in town to help them calm down. And for Mordecai, this was the best place on Earth because of her. Margaret the female red robin who worked as a waitress there who Mordecai was deeply in love with.

Speaking of her, she walks over to Mordecai and Rigby, and greets them.

"Hey Mordecai. Hey Rigby." margaret said with a smile on her face.

"Hey Margaret." Rigby replied in a calm voice, while Mordecai could barely get her name out.

"So, how are you guys doing?" Asked Margaret.

"The usual. What about you?" Rigby questioned.

"Well, my niece and nephew are annoying the crap out of me. Literally. They had to come and stay over because my sister and her husband are going on a trip and they had to come and stay with me. Anyway, I found this list in their room that said '25 Ways To annoy Aunt Margaret' and that's exactly what they are doing!" She finished by throwing her hands up in the air.

"Wow. That's too bad" Mordecai finally said.

" I know. Well, I gotta get back to work. See ya around!" She replied.

"Yeah, you too."

Rigby looked over at his friend with a mischievous grin on his face. Mordecai knew that look. Whatever Rigby had in his mind, it wasn't good.

"Rigby, whatever you're thinking, stop and get it out of your head right now" Mordecai said calmly.

"No, Mordecai. This is the GREATEST PLAN EVER!" Rigby shouted.

"Fine what is it?" Mordecai knew this was not gonna end good.

"Okay, we should pull the stuff Margaret's niece and nephew are doing to the guys back at the park. It will be AWESOME!"

"No, dude. We will totally get fired."

"No, we won't. We'll be sneaky about it."

"Ugh, RIGBY! Don't you understand, if even one person finds out that we did that we be in sooo much trouble. And plus, it's too much to do, pulling pranks on all of them."

Just then, There walkie-talkie's came to life, spluttering out static for a few seconds before...

"WHERE ARE YOU TWO? YOU KNOW WHAT, DON'T TELL ME! IF YOU AREN'T BACK HERE AT THE PARK IN TEN MINUTES, DOING YOUR CHORES, **YOU'RE FIRED!**"

Yep, that was their boss, Benson.

Now, that the mood was ruined, Mordecai and Rigby were feeling bummed out. And mad. No, not that kind of mad, revenge mad.

As the duo climbed back in the cart, Mordecai asked a very imported question.

"So, Rigby, about that prank plan of yours..."

"I knew you see it my way, dude."

A/N: My first chapter, DONE! The niece and nephew I added in. I will be taking your thoughts and suggestions for ways to annoy Benson. READ AND REVIEW!


	2. Ignore

A/N: Okay, I gonna use an idea that jster1983 gave me, but a little bit different. Hope you enjoy!

Mordecai and Rigby drove as fast as they could to the park ina effort to save their jobs. The good thing is that they got there with only seconds to spare, thus they were not fired. The bad thing is, Benson still chewed them out.

"You two idiots need to stop slacking off actually do your jobs once in a while!"

"But Benson" stated Rigby "We've been working for hours!"

"No, you didn't! You two just sat around playing video games for three hours!" Benson replied, his gumballs turing and angry shade of red.

"Okay, Benson. We didn't work work like you told us too. Don't get mad at us. We'll do our chores." Offered Mordecai.

"Wha-? Oh, whatever just get back to work!" And with that, Benson stormed off.

"Dude! What the 'H' did you just do? You got us more work?" Exclaimed Rigby.

"Yeah, I know I did. But, there is a reason for it."

"What's the reason" And with that Mordecai pulled Rigby close and whispered the plan...

Prank: When Benson talks to you, pretend you don't hear him and that he's not actually talking.

So, less than two hours later, Mordecai and Rigby were actually working. But, they both had this grin on their face that spelled that everybody at the park knew about. Except Benson.

"Hey Mordecai and Rigby, I need you to go chase that knight out again. He's throwing trash at people." but Mordecai and Rigby didn't do what Benson told them, instead they keep washing the car, pretending not to hear him. And they both had a dumb look on their faces, like he was just standing there.

"Hey, I'm talking to you two." Benson said, getting angry.

Mordecai and Rigby were trying very hard to keep themselves from laughing. Man, Margaret's niece and nephew are genius! thought Rigby with a smile on his face.

Now, Benson was ticked off. He grabbed Mordecai by the shoulders and turned him around to face him. But, before Benson could say anything, Mordecai spoke up.

"Oh. hey Benson. We didn't see you. Do you need anything?"

Benson let go of Mordecai, his gumballs turning red before yelling at them,

"Yes, I need something! I told you both to go get rid of that knight!" With Benson nearly screaming the last part at them.

Mordecai and Rigby just stood there, trying their hardest to keep a straight face. But they were starting to show. Then Mordecai asked Benson,

"Are you just gonna stand there, or are you gonna tell us something?" Them Rigby pitched in,

"Yeah, you're interfering with our work." And by the time he finished that sentence, Benson looked like he was ready to explode.

Benson had a look of confusion and anger on his face. This must be some kind of prank. He thought. "I can't deal with this right now." he stated, and went to find Muscle Man and High-Five Ghost to get them to do the job.

When Benson was out of hearing range Mordecai and RIgby looked at each other for a split second, and then burst out laughing.

At Muscle Man and HFG trailer, Benson knocked at the door and waited for it to be answered. About ten seconds later, Muscle Man flew open the door and greeted Benson.

"Hey Benson, what do ya need?" Benson looked relieved.

"Yeah, Muscle Man, I do. I need you to take care of that knight. He's throwing-" Then he noticed that Muscle Man had the same look on his face as Mordecai and Rigby did.

There was no way he was getting through to Muscle Man. So, he just turned around and stormed off to find Skips. Then he heard Muscle Man's voice:

"You know who else walks away from people without saying anything? MY MOM!"

Benson scowled to himself and picked up the pace, eager to find Skips.

He found Skips in his garage, working out on his weight lifting set. Benson felt a wave of relief wash over him. He knew he could trust Skips not to pull pranks or anything. So, with this in mind, he walked up to Skips, ready to ask him his question.

"Hey, Skips I need you to g-" He stopped right there when he saw that all-too familiar dumb look on his face. He knew he couldn't deal with this and not go insane, so he simply turned around and walked out the door, mumbling to himself.

When the door had closed, Skips just chuckled to himself. Whatever Mordecai and Rigby had planned, it would surely make Benson go insane before it was over with.

Later on that evening, Benson sat down in his chair at his apartment. the TV was on, but he wasn't paying attention to it. Instead, he was mulling over today's events. What did I do to them to deserve this? He questioned himself. He tried thinking of a way to bypass all of this, but he knew there was none. So, he would have to wait and see what they did next. Maybe it wouldn't last long and they would get bored and leave him alone. But he knew that wouldn't happen and that this wasn't over. Not by a longshot.

A/N: Second Chapter, done. harder and longer that the last. Again, I want to thank jster1983 for his idea:

Put Benson in a sound proof dome and have Mordecai and Rigby screw up in a way that they can't get fired and watch him go insane at the fact that he while he can yell at them... they won't be able to hear it.

Thanks for giving me this idea! Please give me more ideas, people! Read on and Review. I will update probally this weekend.

Sjaumst seinna!


	3. Phone Calls

A/N: 3rd CHAPTER! YAY! Okay, gonna use another idea that a person named pinkluver93 gave me. So, enjoy! Oh, and I keep forgetting this, Regular Show and the characters belong to their rightful makers.

Mordecai and Rigby were sitting on the couch at the park, trying to come up with another prank.

"Come on dude, we need to come up with another prank to pull on Benson." Said Mordecai.

"Dude, I'm trying, but I can't come up with anything." Protested Rigby, looking bummed out. Then suddenly, he got an idea.

"Hey, I got an idea, let's watch TV."

Mordecai looked skeptical. "Dude! We are trying to come up with a prank!"

But Rigby had thought of that. "Yeah, but we might get an idea of the TV."

Well he's got a point. Mordecai thought. So, having no reason not to, he grabbed the remote and turned on the TV.

And, as it turns out, Rigby was right. They did get an idea off the TV. As soon as they turned it on. It was stupid, but it could work out.

"Hey, when was the last time someone called you? Does your telephone look like this?" A TV announcer said. Then the screen showed a fat guy with hardly any hair, sitting next to a phone, looking depressed. "Do you want your phone to ring off the hook, and make it look like you're someone important?" The man nodded. "Well then, have we got a deal for you! Go online now at our website, put in your phone number, and within one hour your phone will be ringing off the hook for the next week!" The screen was showing the man doing just that. "So go ahead to our website at .com now so you can end up like this guy!" The screen showed the guy with a lot of people surrounding him.

Mordecai and Rigby's mouths were wide open in shock and awesomeness. They both looked at each other, giving each other a knowing look, then bolted upstairs to put in Benson's phone number.

A little less than one hour later, Benson had called up a meeting outside for all park staff.

"Okay guys." Benson said. "Here's what on the agenda for today. Skips, I need you to-" I was right then that his phone rang.

Mordecai and Rigby looked at each other. It had begun.

"Hello?" Benson answered. For a few seconds his face was blank, then it turned to horror and he closed the phone.

"Hey, Benson! Who was that?" Mordecai called out.

"Yeah, who was it?" Rigby also said.

"NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" Benson roared back at them. He cleared his throat and started again "Anyway, Skips I need you to go c-"

And, once again, the phone rang. Benson groaned and reluctantly answered.

"Hello?" He answered. For a few seconds, everything was quiet. Then...

"BENSON, HOW COULD YOU!" A man sobbed from the other end of the phone, although it sounded like he was yelling. "YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME! YOU SAID YOU WOULD SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH ME, BUT I FIND YOU CHEATING ON ME WITH HIM!"

By now, everybody was in shock, even Mordecai and Rigby.

"I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS, MISTER! WE ARE OVER!" The last part was screamed over in rage and the line disconnected.

Everybody just sat there in shock with their mouths wide open for a few seconds. Then, like they all came out of a trance, started laughing their heads off. Except Benson who had just shut the phone, looking embarrassed and angry.

"Wow, Benson, way to screw up something!" Muscle Man said while laughing.

"Yeah, Benson, we didn't know you had it in ya." Rigby said also while laughing, making Benson even more ticked off than he already was.

"SHUT UP!' He screamed. This made the crowd go quiet instanley. "I DON'T KNOW WHO THAT WAS OR WHY THEY CALLED ME, BUT IF ANY OF YOU SAY ANYTHING, YOU'RE ALL FIRED!" Benson finished, his gumballs a bright red color. Then, he stormed inside slamming the door behind him.

When the coast was clear, they all laughed their butts off for a minute or so until they heard Benson screaming:

"NO, I DO NOT WANT ADULT DIAPER CHEESE! LEAVE ME ALONE!" Then they heard the sound of something like a phone being thrown against the wall. Everybody looked at each other and then resumed laughing.

"DON'T LAUGH AT ME!"

A/N: Chapter 3 DONE! Thanks to pinkluver93 for submitting two ideas that I kind of smashed together:

I will probably use the second one later on. See ya! READ AND REVIEW!


	4. Fake Death

A/N: Hello once again! I am here to update. thanks again to both pinkluver93 and jster1983 for giving this chapter.

After bringing Rigby home from the hospital (because he laughed so hard at the phone prank the literally split his side and they had to rush him to the hospital) they laid him down on his bed and then Benson told everybody to leave, except for Mordecai and Rigby.

"See, THIS is what happens when you pull pranks! Somebody gets HURT!" Benson was furious with them, but even more so when he saw the hospital bill.

"But Benson, Rigby was just being an idiot and hurt himself laughing! I told him to stop after 2 hours!" Mordecai argued.

"Hey! Not helping here!" Rigby said, defending himself.

Benson pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Look, I willing to put this all behind us if you promise not to pull any more pranks." He said.

Mordecai and Rigby looked at each other. Stop pulling pranks on Benson. No way. Uh-un. Ain't gonna happen. They had only just gotten started. But how to break it to him...

"Look, Benson." Mordecai started. "We can't stop pulling pranks on you. Sorry, but we just can't stop."

"And why can't you stop?" Benson asked.

Mordecai was thinking of a way to tell him something when Rigby said the worst thing he could've said

"We're are in the middle of a war... A PRANKING WAR! And we're out to get revenge on you, Benson! Rigby started twirling around, but stopped when he saw the looks on their faces, Benson furious and Mordecai scared.

"Revenge? Revenge on what?" Benson asked.

"Uhhhhhhhh.." both Mordecai and Rigby said, looking at each other. Benson then went into a rage.

"THAT'S IT! IF YOU TWO PULL ANY MORE PRANKS ON ME OR ANYBODY, YOU'RE FIRED!" After that, Benson left to cool down.

I guess we can't prank Benson anymore, dude." Mordecai said sadly and then laid down on his bed.

Rigby was shocked at this. "But Mordecai, we can't, not now!"

Mordecai shot back. "But we can't dude! Benson will fire us!"

But Rigby would not give up. "Please Mordecai, just one more prank?" He gave Mordecai that pleading, baby-ish look on his face. Mordecai gave in.

"Okay, dude. One more prank."

The next day, Rigby was telling Mordecai about his hospital stay while playing video games.

"Dude, the room was so white! And the room smelt so weird. It was so chemical-iy smelling. And everybody was so professional. And, dude, you'll never believe this! Someone died right next to me, dude!"

That caught Mordecai's attention. "Seriously, dude?"

"Yeah, dude. I'm not kidding. It was a old guy and his heart just gave out on him."

Mordecai was surprised. And worried about Rigby having nightmares or being mentally scarred or something like that. He didn't want to go through that again.

"Well, are you okay with that? Rigby?"

But Rigby wasn't answering. He had a pondering look on his face that quickly changed into a mischievous face. He looked at Mordecai with an evil look on his face.

"No, dude. We are not killing Benson." Mordecai said quickly.

"I didn't mean that." Rigby said. "Let's just pretend he's dead."

"Dude, what the "H"! We can't just pretend that Benson is dead! How would we pull that off?"

But Rigby had thought of this. "Well, we can call up his relatives and tell him he died!"

Mordecai was surprised. No, not surprised, astounded. This was wrong on so many levels.

"Absolutely not, dude. Besides, we don't know if Benson has any relatives. And, even if he does have relatives, how are we gonna lie to them and tell them that Benson is 'dead'." Mordecai stated, trying to get the idea out of Rigby's head.

"So, well just look through his stuff and see if he does." Rigby had really thought this through.

"Yeah, but we can go through his stuff. And how would his relatives believe us and what would we tell them." Mordecai asked, hoping Rigby would just give up.

"Well tell them he drowned and that we are the undertakers. And we will reserve a funeral time slot to make it real, and we will tell Benson to come and when his family and friends get there, we will surprise them and we'll be all like "in ya face" and "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Rigby exclaimed, mimicking himself while dancing around the room.

Mordecai knew there was no way out of this. He was just hoping that he of Rigby wouldn't get fired.

"Okay, dude. But you're doing all the dirty work."

"Fine. But you don't know what you're missing out on. More for me! OOOHHHHHHHH!"

After Benson told them that he was leaving for the night to go home, Mordecai and Rigby put the plan into action. Since Benson's office door was locked, they had to use a bobby pin to picklock it, which neither of them knew how to do, so it took a while. Finally, after 45 minutes, and over a dozen bobby pins, they were in.

Since Mordecai did not want to get in trouble for snooping, he volunteered to wait outside and stand watch while Rigby searched for Benson contact info.

After about thirty minutes, Mordecai was getting impatient.

"Hurry up, Rigby!" Mordecai whispered. "You've been in there for over half an hour!"

No response.

Then, Rigby came out, holding a file that said TOP SECRET.

Mordecai and Rigby then rushed up to their rooms and locked the door.

When they had set down on Mordecai's bed, they both open the file.

Inside it was everything that they needed to know about Benson.

Down toward the bottom, it had his contact info for both of this parents:

Bartholomew Thadeius Wallace Phone # 756-587-2489

Beulah Rebeccak Wallace Phone # 756-587-2489

Mordecai and Rigby looked at each other, nodded, and then picked up the phone and started to dial...

In the city of Emporia, Virginia, There was a married couple of gumball machines living in a mid-size house. They were in their late forties early fifties and were happily married (what they would call happy is not your happy) for 28 years.

"BEAU, DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE SCISSORS ARE?"

"THERE ARE IN THE TOP DRAWER, BART!"

Yep, happily married.

Bea sighed. She was 50 years old and had two children. She and her husband Bart was raised on the principle that being loud and yelling is the key to get everything you want. And that was a lesson that they both accepted and passed along to their children and grandchildren. Well, tried anyway. Their daughter Bea was naturally loud and had anger issues like the rest of her family. But their son, Benson and Bea's son, Braxentin (short for Brax) were unusually quiet. benson eventually became loud, but not loud enough to them.

Now, about Bea's husband... He was a good person, just soooo quiet. And that's probably where Brax got it from. Now don't get Beau wrong, she likes Glenn, he very wealthy. He owns a business that sells eco-friendly cars. Bea was a fashion designer of clothes that are very popular. And Brax is only six but is a kid genius but has a tendency to get into trouble.

So they were living the good life.

And Benson... well he ended up working at a park as a manager there.

It's better than being a hobo.

Just then the phone rang, jerking her out of her thoughts.

"Hello?" She answered loudly. On the other end, Mordecai and Rigby had to jerk the phone away from their ears to prevent themselves from going deaf.

"Uhh...yes, do you have a son named Benson Wallace?" Mordecai said speaking in a professional voice.

"Yes, I do. Why are you asking?" Beau replied, sounding worried. Benson may not have been the best son ever but that doesn't mean that she doesn't love him.

"Well, I regret to inform you but your son Benson drowned five hours ago while walking around the park."

Beau felt like her heart had stopped. Bart had sensed this and walked over and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"H-how d-did he drown?" Beau stuttered, afraid to ask. Bart looked like beau did earlier now.

"Well, your son Benson was making final rounds when a crazy guy on a lawn mower hit him and knocked him unconscious. He then fell into the water and drowned." Mordecai said, trying to keep a serious face.

"Oh my..." Beau was about to faint. Bart asked her what was wrong, and she told him. Then Bart took over the phone and Mordecai told Bart what he had told Beau. Then Bart took the phone.

"Where can we arrange the funeral?" he asked solemnly. Mordecai told him that the funeral was already arranged for the next Wednesday. Bart thanked him and hung up the phone and turned around to comfort his wife. How were they gonna tell Bea?

As soon as Rigby put down the phone, Rigby burst out into laughter.

"HAHAHA! Dude, they totally fell for it!"

"Rigby, that was wrong, dude! I wish we hadn't done it now. They really think Benson's dead!" Mordecai exclaimed.

"Oh, quit being a wuss, Mordecai! They'll find out at the funeral that Benson's not dead."

"And they'll be pissed! Think about it, dude. Benson's family." Mordecai tried to drill through his head. Unfortunately it didn't work.

The day of the 'funeral', there was a lot of crying and sadness. Except for Rigby, who was as giddy as a horse, Mordecai, on the other hand, was freaking out.

"Dude there gonna be soooo mad! We should just leave now!" Mordecai tried to back out.

"Mordecai, I already told Benson to come down here." And just on cue, Benson flew through the door, scaring everybody.

"WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE?" He screamed. His family looked at him in shock.

"B-b-Benson?" His mother stuttered.

'Mom? Dad? Bea? What are you doing here?" Benson asked, confused.

Bea stood up. "Well, those two told us you got hit by a crazy guy on a lawn mower who knocked you unconscious and you fell into a lake and drowned and died."

Then everybody sort of froze in relization. They had been tricked. All of them turned to face Mordecai and Rigby, who was rolling around on the floor laughing.

"Oh, man! We got you guys good!" Rigby was in his own little world by then. mordecai was trying to warn him about the immediate danger they both were in.

"YOU TRICKED US!" They all screamed. Then they ran after them. Mordecai picked up Rigby and ran out of the building. And Rigby was still laughing like a maniac.

One week later, Mordecai and Rigby were on trash duty as their punishment for their little prank. The only reason why they weren't fired is because Brax made a point saying that they deserved to be punished, not homeless.

And Rigby thought it was still funny.

FINISHED THIS CHAPTER! finally. Sorry I took so long. I got busy and I forgot about this. the next chapter will be short but after that, I will take suggestions again. It will be soon.

See ya soon!


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